Female political bloggers

Grover Cleveland: Our First Pedophile President

Average Jane — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:18:20 EDT

If John McCain wins the election, he won't be the first President to marry outside of his generation. In addition to John Tyler and Benjamin Harris whose second wives were much younger, Grover Cleveland enjoyed an extra-generational affair with Frances Folsom, daughter of his lawyer friend Oscar. In Cleveland's case, you might euphemistically call it an "arranged" marriage.

From The Complete Book of U.S. Presidents by William A. Degregorio:

"A longtime close friend of Oscar Folsom, Cleveland at 27 met his future wife shortly after she was born. He took an avuncular [uncle-like] interest in the child, buying her a baby carriage and otherwise doting on her as she grew up. When her father died in a buggy accident in 1875 without having provided a will [strange, seeing as how he was a lawyer], the court appointed Cleveland administrator of his estate. This brought Cleveland into still more contact with Frances, then 11...."

Woody Allen might approve of this kind of relationship these days, but I doubt anyone else would.

It's been a great 88

Average Jane — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 09:50:07 EDT

Eighty-eight years ago today women "won" the right to vote. Another dull Women's History factoid until I consider the context. My own grandmother couldn't vote when she studied at Ohio University in 1918.

I think I understand why we as a nation settled the "All Men Are Equal" debate early on, but had a difficult time with women's voting rights. The suffrage movement got mixed up with the female-dominated temperance unions. I can empathize with turn-of-the-century men who were leery of dour women carrying banners.

Today, we have only a few role models, notably Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi, as examples of what women can achieve in the political sphere. That doesn't surprise me at all. It's like the Gender Dance Adage: "Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except backward and in high heels." It's doubly tough when you're a mature woman whose looks, voice and emotional nuances are constantly scrutinized.

But a lack of female leadership does not at all translate into lack of female power in the voting booth. Quite the contrary. While many of us are content with our support roles in life, that doesn't mean we are not independent thinkers.

Political involvement is a lot like going to church. At just about every church service I've ever attended, the preacher is male and the pews are filled with a 60:40 ratio of women to men. (I'm not complaining, just observing. I prefer to listen to low male voices myself.) The leadership is almost always male in religion and politics, but take away the women, and you've got nothing. No church. No democracy.

I wish my late 102-year-old grandmother could have seen last night's Dem convention.

Call 911: McCain's 72nd Birthday is Friday

Average Jane — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:10:22 EDT

That birthday cake will be a fireball. He may need some help blowing out the candles.

I will state the obvious: John Sidney McCain III is old.

He is so old he can't master basic pointing and clicking skills. I mean really. That's like living in Texas and refusing to learn Spanish.

He is so old he thinks it's acceptable to marry outside of his generation. His wife Cindy Lou Hensley was born May 20, 1954. One month later in that year, John McCain entered the U.S. Naval Academy after attending as many as 20 schools. A few years later, when Cindy was a toddler, McCain had a romance with a famous Brazilian model.

The age differential is just too much. He doesn't pass the What-I-Want-for-My-Daughter Test. Thinking it's OK to date someone 17 years younger -- not to mention cheating on your wife -- is the kind of belief system only old guys have. Like, biblical-times old men.

For the first time, I'll be voting for a President who is younger than I am, and I'm excited about that. Go Youth!

My current thoughts on voting

4TheFuture — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 13:12:19 EDT

I have been keeping up with the 2008 election, and so far I am not impressed with Obama or McCain. If I chose between voting for Obama or McCain or not voting at all, I would choose not voting. I wouldn't consider myself Apathetic because I do care about who runs our country and I do know that my vote counts. I'm in the position where I don't think either candidate would put our country back on track and keep it there. Obama says that our country needs "change" when he hasn't explained in depth what he means by "change." I want a president who is very straight forward and says alright, this is what we're going to do and this is how we will do it. But, I know that will never happen.

When Animals Attack: Cameras

Average Jane — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 11:03:04 EDT

Slate's Green Room has an entertaining article Paparazzi in the Woods: Hidden Surveillance Cameras Are Making the Wilderness Less Wild. The piece discusses the effects of widespread use of cameras to track and study wild animals, and has links to some great photos. Author Etienne Bensen poses an interesting question:

There is one impact, however, that no amount of technical refinement will be able to change: that of surveillance itself. The spread of camera traps also affects the humans who share landscapes with the animals being studied. In some cases, this is undoubtedly a good thing: Camera traps in one of Nepal's national parks recently caught a party of tiger poachers on film. The potential impact on hikers and campers is less clearly positive. National parks and wilderness areas have long been valued in part because they provide opportunities for solitude, self-reliance, and a temporary escape from the everyday pressures of modern life. Can such values survive in a "wilderness" blanketed with surveillance devices?

Our disjointed efforts to modernize the wilderness leave me wondering if we really deserve to be at the top of the food chain.

There's a word for women who date 17-yr older married men

Average Jane — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 06:56:14 EDT

There are also a number of unkind terms for married men who pursue much younger women. I'll let you fill in the blanks: she's a _______ and he's a ________.

But let's say she's a very rich and beautiful younger woman. Heck, she drove a gold Mercedes to her college classes. She could date any man she wanted to.

And let's say he has honorably served his country in wartime and his wife doesn't look nearly as good as she used to. (Or, for the sake of argument, let's say his wife's breast cancer is in remission.)

Is she still a _______?

Is he still a _______?

Defend Your Library

Average Jane — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 09:09:08 EDT

They came for the meetings rooms....and I said nothing....

Our libraries are under legal attack from outside special interest groups. Let's nip this trend in the bud right now.

I think of my local library as the center of the community, a wellspring of self-help. It's all about sharing knowledge -- what could be better than that?

"Information wants to be free," said computer scientist Stewart Brand. The public library makes it happen.

Personally, I have borrowed hundreds of dollars worth of books, DVDs and CDs in the last year. It is well worth the $178/year in property tax that we pay to the library.

If I want to read Rush Limbaugh's or Ann Coulter's new books I can get them at the library. I sure as hell wouldn't buy these books. Ditto on the Comedy DVDs.

Resident or not, my local library gives lending privileges to everyone. I can't tell you how many non-English speaking people I've witnessed who smile and seem extremely grateful when borrowing library materials. It's heart warming.

If you've never been a young mother, you probably can't imagine what a great public facility the library is.

Anyone who aspires to be a librarian is a morally superior human in my book. Seeking answers for others is their joy. Librarians also put up with a lot of crap from homeless people and bad parents who dump their kids.

Please join me in telling the special interest groups: "Public" means secular. It's not their library any more than it is yours. Stop wasting our tax dollars on legal fights. Libraries are for information-seekers, not worshipers.

Bodies: The Olympic Exhibition

Average Jane — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:22:10 EDT

With five days to go, it may be premature to say this, but what a great event the Chinese have pulled off. Good hosting job, China.

The Olympics so far have been so carefully managed, I believe that some of the "controversy" stories coming out of Beijing, such as the Jon-Bene-Jing lip-synching girl, were premeditated news events. The Chinese have finally blossomed in the world meedya scene. They get it.

It can't be easy in a huge Communist country of sibling-less group-thinkers. They're real good at drummer displays, but individualism and a free press are awfully hard for them to accept. Now the Chinese have proven that they are up to the task of hosting an Olympics. Congratulations to China and to NBC for putting the show together here.

That said, how about those tiny not-16-year-old Chinese "women" gymnasts? You have to feel for these little overachieving Tools of the State. The New York Post said the silver-winning American gymnastics team looked like the "babysitters" of the gold-winning Chinese team. The Americans weighed an average of 30 lbs. more! Clearly, this is fodder for an investigative journalism team or two. Stay tuned!

I like the survival-skills type of Olympic events like the Steeplechase (not just for horses anymore) which involves running over high hurdles and through water. It's hard to imagine a life-or-death situation where Synchronized Diving would come into play.

I've learned a lot sitting on my couch. I learned that Team Handball is sort of a hybrid basketball-soccer game. (My theory is that this event was invented by an international committee as a means of bypassing American team-sports powerhouses. They should call it "No Yankee Ball.")

I've become very impressed with not only the athletic abilities, but also the personal humility of both Michael Phelps and LeBron James. James is one great Ohio athlete -- he doesn't make promises, he just delivers.

Having grown up in a family of girls pre-Title IX (that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it), I have very limited experience with team sports. How uplifting to see so many beautiful women athletes in Beijing! I mean, these chicks are hot. It really shakes your stereotypes of girl jocks.

Personally, I have come to appreciate the Olympics for the body displays -- not much "T," but plenty of "A" of both genders.

Ah, butts -- humanity's great equalizer.

UAPL Meeting Room Request

Average Jane — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:55:26 EDT

TO: Upper Arlington Public Library Director Ann Moore

FR: Operation Save America, Betty-Jo Bigot, Corresponding Secretary

Dear Ms. Moore,

We are delighted that the holy lawyers of the Alliance Defense Fund and Citizens for Community Values have opened your cold heart to Jesus. Finally, we have gained the legal right to praise Our Lord in your public library meeting room. With God, All Things Are Possible!

While we realize that there are 19 Christian churches in your small community -- many of which could easily accommodate us -- we intend to teach you a lesson about "viewpoint discrimination," God willing.

That said, we're sure your community will be accommodating to the many out-of-towners we are expecting at our "meeting."

We plan to discuss how we as True Christians(c) can put prayer back in public schools and institute "Christian Swim Time" at your public pools.

Your Jewish and Muslim community members are welcome to attend our "Who Killed Jesus?" seminar.

For the young folks, we've hired a Christian rock band and adapted our "On Fire for Jesus" youth program to an indoor venue. I'm sure you'll make an exception to the library quiet rules for us -- some of us can't control our love of Jesus!

What a glorious time we had in downtown Columbus in 2004! God-fearing folks from all over the country sang and prayed for the redemption of your evil city. It is a miracle that no one was arrested for littering, erecting giant bloody fetus pictures on City Hall property, or for burning a Koran!

According to our 'Libraries That Hate Jesus' database, your facility is located next to a park. Praise God! How wonderful that our overnight "meeting" participants and their families can set up tents on God's Good Earth, and not have to sleep in their cars as they did in 2004. Praise Jesus for the nice bathroom facilities!

With God's help and your public library, we will be silenced no more!

Praying for your heretic soul,

Betty-Jo Bigot (Mrs. Pastor-Coach Billy-Bob Bigot)

P.S. We will require a film projector for our special screening of Mel Gibson's new Christian movie, Terri Schiavo: What Brain-Dead Women Want.

Citizen Against Cincinnati Values

Average Jane — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 08:00:50 EDT

Well, Glory Be, Cincinnati-based social-conservative group Citizens for Community Values was successful in suing the Upper Arlington Public Library for the policy-breaking right to pray and sing in our meeting rooms.

As a UA taxpayer, frequent library patron and First Amendment supporter, I say, fine. But there are a few things these out-of-towners should know about our community.

First, CCV should know that hundreds, perhaps thousands, of UA area people have already participated in the Faith & American Politics adult education course offered through local churches. This is exactly the topic they propose to discuss (and pray and sing about) at the library.

Unlike most communities, UA supports its libraries through property taxes -- Big Time. As someone who has contributed thousands of dollars to library funding over the years, I think my opinion about what happens at UAPL counts a whole lot more than CCV's.

Now that they've bullied their way into the library, CCV can have their revival meeting. I'll be watching the UAPL special events calendar, though. I hope their meeting has plenty of bells and whistles!

Free speech is for everyone!

Hate mail makes me stronger

Average Jane — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 14:49:57 EDT

Mr. Postman brought me a mysterious letter from "Center social justice, Cols, Oh 43228" today. To my non-surprise it contained a poorly photocopied picture of a late-term aborted fetus and text quoting an "unnamed" doctor: "Sure, the money was important. And oh, it was an easy thing, once I had taken this step -- to see these women as animals and these babies as just tissue...." Rrrright....

I'm getting used to these prolife quotes from unnamed doctors taken from unidentifiable sources and sent by anonymous mailers because I get them every year about this time! Apparently, I'm on someone's shitlist for being a Planned Parenthood supporter or something.

My experience in receiving creepy anonymous mail from prolifers predates my relationship with ProgressOhio, so I don't think anything I've written here is the cause of this spineless harassment. When I used to write pro-choice letters to the editor of The Dispatch and my address was published in the phone book, I could always count on receiving an anonymous Bible tract or two.

One guy sent me a perfectly typed, two-page, single-spaced letter talking about "foetuses" and the "Letters of Phinneas" or some such thing. Unlike the other weird prolife letters I've received, he signed his real name and that of his wife (although clearly his wife was not involved in the writing of his manifesto). The perfectness of his composition was a little too Ted Kaczynski-esque for me.

This is why I'm now unlisted and I use this silly pseudonym. (I don't really like my username -- I chose it quickly -- but I've never met a Jane, Jayne or even Jayn that I didn't like!)

Am I being paranoid? There hasn't been an abortion clinic bombing or anything like that lately, but who knows?

Whoever sent me an aborted fetus photo has got to realize that it's not going change my mind. It's only going to make me more determined to get the pro-choice story out.

Good/Not Good

Average Jane — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 08:34:15 EDT

Context seems to be the key to our beliefs and morals these days. Fans of Absolute Truth have to just give way to Relativism. For example....

We think urine testing is just fine for students and warehouse employee applicants, but we're outraged if the pee collection is for personal use. (Btw, I have one word for Allan Patton, the urophiliac: Ebay.)

Likewise, we think polygamy is disgusting when practiced by Mormon cults. But if we're talking oily Arab sheiks, polygamy is not only acceptable, it would be considered politically incorrect to criticize their culture.

We all love the idea of "protecting our families." But when that idea extends to stockpiling guns to the point of making your neighbors feel threatened -- not so good. Ironic, perhaps, but not good.

And isn't it great that our Republican state legislators want to "save the unborn"? Well, actually, NO. When legislators with no medical background craft anti-choice bills which actually threaten fetus and mothers' health that's no good at all.

That's an absolute truth from my undead perspective.

Stop the urine-collection freaks!

Average Jane — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 12:31:56 EDT

Today I heard a back-to-school radio commercial for do-it-yourself drug testing kits. The product was promoted as a way for mom and dad to make sure Johnny passed his urine test so he could make it on the high school football team.

All I've got to say is YUCK. Since when did we start judging a person's character and productivity by the chemical properties of his or her pee?

Collecting and testing the urine of students, student-athletes and employees in non-sensitive jobs is a bad societal trend. It diminishes our humanness. It has spawned a whole industry for beating the tests. More than once, I'm willing to bet, a urine sample has been used surreptitiously to exclude a woman from employment because she was pregnant.

If my kids' school ever required testing for all students, I'd say OK -- but only if all faculty and school board members do it as well, and we test for everything. We'll have nametags printed up which detail all the prescription meds of each teacher and coach, and they'll be required to wear them on the job. How'd that be?

Besides being an invasion of privacy, urine collection is gross! Just ask the urophilia guy and his media enablers.

Cancel the Hamm Sandwich

Average Jane — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 08:34:03 EDT

Boo-hoo! The Hamm twins will not be competing in the Beijing Olympics.

But there's still plenty of hope that Ohioans will be bringing home the gold, according to an article by The Plain Dealer's Tim Warsinskey published in The Dispatch today.

We've still got LeBron James in the competition -- Woo-hoo! What a great opportunity for a little old white lady like me to say, "Yea! He's one of ours!"

I'm not much of a sports fan, but I do enjoy the unusual events like Women's Heptathlon and the opening parade of athletes where they wear native costumes.

Besides, the Olympics offer a welcomed respite from Buckeye football reports. Do fans really give a flying %#&* about minor changes in Michigan's Away jerseys? The Dispatch and Columbus broadcasters routinely report such minutia.

Starting today, Buckeye fans and media should set their Gold Pants asses on the couch and try something different.

McCain Fumbles Pizza Purchase

Kelley Wenzlaff, The "Mom" for the House! — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:14:40 EDT

The lead story in today Columbus Dispatch newspaper slices the hard breaking news story that Republican presidential candidate John McCain does not know how to purchase pizza.

The article states: "McCain stopped yesterday for a 20-minute photo op and tour of the main fire station, carrying two large pizzas. As he glad-handed his way down a line of 24 firefighters, he told an aide, "I don't think I brought enough pizza for everybody. We'll have to send out for some more."

Clearly this is an issue of great concern for all den mothers and little league dads who routinely purchase pizzas. These parents know full well that two large pies will not even begin to satisfy the feeding frenzy of even a small group of half a dozen pint sized pipsqueaks, let alone 24 full grown macho men.

*The ratio of pies to people is a half a pie per person for thin crust and a quarter pie for thick if the eaters are male and over the age of 12. The ratio can be cut by a third for women, picky eaters, and parties involving ice cream and cake. Every parent knows this.

As a result of this story, voters across the nation are rethinking their position on a McCain presidency. Can a man who has never ordered pizza for his family or football team really lead the free world? What will happen when he invites heads of state to the White House and they run out of food in the middle of tense negotiations? The results could be catastrophic, even if he does remember to hold the anchovies.

In conclusion, I must commend the main stream media for it's in depth coverage on this event, as clearly this is the type of hard hitting analysis the American People look for when casting their votes...

OhioStateFairphilia

Average Jane — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 15:06:55 EDT

Like drones, spouse and I attended the fair yesterday. We didn't expect any surprises and we weren't disappointed.

The fair is all about rural life, and that means animals. That's cool. The ODNR park has a good collection of birds, fish, butterflies and native mammals, as well as an automaton Smokey the Bear. Maybe because it rained, the owls, bobcat, river otter and fox were unusually alert in their small cages. (Except for an occasional gray fox, I've never seen any of these animals in the wild, have you? I guess we just have to take ODNR's word for it that these are Ohio natives.)

From the gigantic cardinal and butter cow sculptures to the impressive and so-still Budweiser Clydesdales, animals rule the fair. There's even a decent petting zoo. (I believe it's from Missouri.) I wonder about this international collection of docile beings. Isn't the giant tortoise bugged by the constant dromedary bleating?

Speaking of drones, one thing I miss about the Ag building of yesteryear is the Wall of Bees display. It was interesting and kind of empowering as a kid to see those worker bees doing their thing under glass. (The bee wall was abandoned, I suspect, when we fell victim to Big Ag Commercialization Syndrome.)

Then there's the animals you eat (I do, anyway). The fair is my opportunity to look my food sources in the eye. We sat in the arena bleachers for awhile and watched 10-year-olds handling 250 lb. sheep with ease. It's like a countrified Westminster Dog Show.

The fair is where I realize how ignorant I am about farm life. For example, the Ohio Cattlemen's Assn. offers this advise to breeders in The Ring magazine: "Use Expected Progeny Differences (EDP's) when making sire selections. I have heard of many heifer owners that are unwilling to use a calving-ease sire on a first-calf heifer because they believe they are 'wasting' their first calf because it will probably not be thick enough to merchandise or show...." What the....?

You hear ag people (as opposed to actual farmers and ranchers) talk about "checkoff" programs a lot. I've finally figured out what this means, thanks to a large amount of literature offered by the Ohio Beef Council. For every head of cattle sold, $1 goes to a national beef PR campaign. One of the results is BeefItsWhatsForDinner.com. (Warning: vegetarians may find the "Beefscapes" in the aforementioned link objectionable and possibly nauseating. Me, I like the seascape made of kabobs. Is that sand garlic?)

I also picked up a lot of government literature at the fair. The new and very fine State of Perfect Balance logo and slogan was much in evidence. Here's a random selection of Ohio bureaucratic factoid finds:

-- From the Department of Health's Pocket Size Plan: "Experts believe a worldwide outbreak, or pandemic, of influenza will happen someday (sic). The exact timing is not known, but it is certain our everyday live will change drastically during a pandemic. These changes may include temporary closing of schools or cancellation of events, disruption of normal service such as utilities and some shortages...."

-- From the Division of Wildlife Hunting & Trapping Regulations: "It is unlawful to take or attempt to take a wild turkey while it is in a tree."

-- From Department of Commerce Division of Labor & Worker Safety poster: "Prohibited Occupations for Minors 14-17 Years of Age: Power-driven bakery machines...Coal mines...Motor vehicle occupations (?)....

-- Division of Liquor Control brochure How to Object to the Issuance or Renewal of a Liquor Permit: "A general objection based on location of an institution, moral beliefs, institutional policy, adequate number of permit premises currently in the neighborhood, inadvisability, or economic and social consequences of drinking do not constitute reasonable bases to reject a permit."

Fascinating stuff found only at the fair!

Oh yeah, we also really liked the old pictures of Great Western Shopping Center's Walk of Wonders, provided by the Ohio Historical Society, I believe. By the time I saw "the Wonders," they looked like a lame mini-golf course.

The fair was exactly like we expected it to be. This year, I didn't even frighten any Amish boys with my short hair. Unless you're a native-born Ohioan, you may not fully appreciate the fair and our need to embrace the dull.

Out the gun owners

Average Jane — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 09:50:12 EDT

My neighbor needs my permission to build a gazebo, but he can keep an arsenal of hand guns and not tell anyone. What kind of BS is that?

That worn-out Second Amendment seems to be my nemesis. Right to bear arms, huh? How about nukes? Explain that to Iran, NRA.

Why is it OK to secretly keep a gun collection in an urban area? We have the right to know if our neighbors are sex offenders or industrial polluters. Why not gun owners? This doesn't infringe on my neighbor's right to self-defense -- in fact, it may make him safer.

A couple of hand gun owners I know fancy themselves as defenders of their neighborhoods. To them I say, No Thanks. If anyone has a gun around my home, I want them to have a badge and ID.

Near Extinction

Average Jane — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 09:10:51 EDT

Here are some things I miss from my youth (I'm over 50):
1. Drive-In Theaters
2. Monarch butterflies
3. The deep croak of a bullfrog on a summer night
4. Lightening bugs (still around, but not nearly as many)
5. "Miss Citizen Fair" contest
6. Large spice racks & the smell of Allspice
7. Banana Flips
8. George Carlin
9. Free TV
10. Occasionally cracking open an egg to find a double yolk -- twins!

Mostly, it's my memory that's missing (not altogether undesirable -- happiness requires some memory loss, I believe). At any rate, I can only think of ten things.

Some things I don't miss from my youth include: acne, the 5th Grade Fashion Police, bleeding madras, sexist dress codes (Why did it take so long for educators to realize that you can't use most playground equipment if you're wearing a dress?), pit toilets at rest stops, garter belts, and the frequency of skunk roadkill.

I'd be interested in hearing what 40-, 30- and 20-somethings feel nostalgic about. Does a pre-internet & cell phone world seem primitive to them? Me, I'm still trying to negotiate what we quaintly called the "Information Superhighway."

Help! I'm trapped in a Hitchcock movie

Average Jane — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 09:56:56 EDT

Seriously, maybe you can help me with a pest control problem. My computer is located next to a chimney (a WBFP, as the real estate people say). Birds are constantly flying down the two-story+ chimney and squawking through the wall. I bang on the wood paneling. They fly back up the chimney in a flutter. Repeat. Every hour. Drives me nuts.

The flue is encrusted with feathers and bird poop, so I'm reluctant to open it. It doesn't smell bad, so I don't think there are any dead birds in there.

We had the chimney inspected and cleaned when we moved here a decade ago. Because of its location and small size, we've never used the fireplace.

My question is this: Do I need to call professionals to put a screen or some kind of plugging device on the chimney top, or is there some other humane way to deter birds? (I tried shining a light through the cracks of the flue, but this just seemed to attract them.)

I like birds. Since putting a feeder up a few months ago, I've gotten to know our regular visitors. It's charming how the finches and cardinals show up in monogamous pairs. Sparrows, however, come in mobs. They are the trailer-trash of the bird world.

I bought my birdfeeder at a Wild Birds Unlimited franchise. I've been in the store a couple times and was surprised at how crowded and thriving it seemed to be. (Entrepreneurs take note: maybe bird-watching is recession-proof. Hell, they got me to spend $20 on a Squirrel Baffle.)

I don't know what kind of birds keep flying down my chimney. (Chimney Swifts? Nah, smaller than that.) They could even be bats.

Whatever they are, they probably won't pluck my eyeballs out. But you never know.

2 Big D's & a Birthday

Average Jane — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 04:57:41 EDT

Monday August 4, Barack Obama turns 47 and Gov. Ted will be 67 -- my two fave pols share a birthday!

Here's my birthday tribute to both of them, sung to the tune of We Love You, Conrad from the musical Bye, Bye Birdie (hey, it ain't MAD Magazine quality, but it's heart-felt):

We love our Gov. Ted

Oh yes we do

When he's not near to us

We vote non-Blue

He gave us Keno

And Clinton too

Oh Strickland we love you!

We love Obama

Oh yes we can!

If he's elected

We'll forget Marc Dann

We like his policies

And family too

Obama, we need you!